I’m putting out my hand – what’s going to be dropped into it?
I’ve just set a goal for myself: to get 12 rejections between now and December 2020. That should average out at one rejection per month on average.
What do I want to be rejected from? Fabulous things! For me, fabulous = writer’s residencies, commissions for articles or interviews, or pitches to interesting publications. Losing out on gigs as a professional interviewer or facilitator in community research or consultation contracts. Being turned down for creative facilitation or presenting at events and conferences. For the rejection to count it has to be something I really really want.
Where did I get the idea for setting the goal for a certain number of rejections? From a tweet I saw somewhere… I forget who the tweeter was, as this was years ago now. I think (think…) the person was an academic. She had set herself the goal of getting a certain number of rejections for publishing, research, or conference presentation opportunities. She reported that not only did aiming for a certain number of rejections embolden her, but she actually technically failed because some of her applications were successful. Thinking ‘here goes nothing’ she submitted for things she thought she would have no hope of getting, and was astonished to find that she was wrong.
So, in selecting the things I am aiming to get rejected for I am setting down the following criteria:
I will apply for things I am not confident I can get but which I would really like. This gives me a chance to stare down my impostor syndrome and at least entertain the idea of what success for me could look like.
I will apply for things where writing the submission will be useful in some way. In other words, will writing the submission force me to do some planning, refine concepts, research some logistics, prepare a budget, review and improve my biography, or some other useful thing? I have always found that this is a good side goal to set when doing some persuasive writing as, if you fail, then at least putting the submission together wasn’t a total waste of time.
I will reward myself each time I send off a submission. When I used to write grants, I would buy myself a bunch of flowers or some cake after I met each deadline. Also, and most importantly, I will do something similar to comfort myself when I receive a rejection. If I apply to fabulous things that could matter to me then it will sting when I don’t get them. There’s no way around that. Gentleness with self is essential to bolstering resilience.